Tamar Gold

What my show actually looks like

I do not perform on a stage. I put a chair in the middle of the room, ask you to kill the ceiling light and leave one lamp on, and start close enough that you can hear me breathe. That is the whole point: lap dance only works with no distance, and does not work at all from a stage.

It opens slowly. For the first three or four minutes I am still fully dressed and only moving around the chair. Later I take your hands and place them, which is part of the routine rather than an invitation to improvise. The best compliment I have had is that nobody could remember the moment the top came off.

Champagne, silk, low light. No shouting, no clapping on command. If you want a show that shakes the building, that is not me, and I would rather say so now than disappoint you on the night.

Who I suit

A quiet stag night of four to eight people, the kind where the groom is shy and his friends are trying not to push him. That is where I work best, because I do not embarrass him in front of the room.

A birthday in a flat, especially when nobody is twenty any more. An after-party once the restaurant has closed. A couples evening where a partner is present and wants it to be beautiful rather than crude.

Where I fit less well: fifteen people who have already been drinking. That room needs somebody else, and I will tell you so in the message.

Where it works

A normal flat is plenty. An armless chair and two metres of clear floor is the entire list. In a small living room my show looks exactly right, where a loud one would look excessive.

Most of my work is in central Tel Aviv, Florentin and Jaffa, and a large share in hotel rooms, where the lighting is already right without me asking. I also travel to Herzliya.

What I do not do

No touching unless I invite it. During a lap dance there are moments when I take your hands myself, and those are the only ones. No filming during the show. If a line gets crossed I stop, which has happened twice in six years, both times after the guest of honour had drunk too much.

And the important one: the show ends when it ends. There is no afterwards. That is not a polite formula, it means exactly what it says, and there is more about it on the about page.

How I got into this

I studied modern dance for seven years and then realised I did not want a stage. A stage is three metres from the nearest person, and at three metres you cannot see a face. I started working private bars where everything happens at half a metre, and within a month I knew that was what I wanted.

I learned lap dance from a dancer who had worked twelve years in Montreal. The first thing she told me was that a good lap dance is not what you do, it is how long you spend doing nothing. It took me a year to understand that sentence.

Six years in the work, four of them here. I do not count the evenings, but I remember almost every flat I have worked in. It is a job where you walk into people’s homes, and that stays with you.

What I bring and what I need from you

I arrive with my own music, a forty minute playlist I built myself, downtempo and soul. With the costume you picked, a change of shoes and a small towel. That is the whole bag.

From you I need three things: a chair without arms, a side lamp instead of the ceiling light, and a speaker with Bluetooth. Phone speakers only work in a very small room and cost you half the effect either way.

And a fourth nobody thinks about: one person who knows the plan and opens the door. When I am standing outside working out which of the lads will answer his phone, the evening starts wrong.

Mistakes people make when they book me

Leaving the ceiling light on. The most common and the easiest to fix. Hard white light turns any show into a hotel room at midday.

Putting the guest of honour against a wall with his friends behind him. He cannot see them, they cannot see him, and the whole joke disappears. Chair in the middle, everyone around it.

Letting him drink for two hours first. I arrive and he is not really there. Nothing can be done about it, and you have wasted the evening you organised yourselves.

Not telling me a partner will be in the room. I work differently when there is one, and better. Just say so in advance and I will shape the show around it.

Booking me

Send a message with my name, the hour, the address and how many guests. I work at the standard price list, no supplements and no deposit, cash at the end of the evening.

For a Thursday or Friday, a day ahead makes a real difference. If I am taken, the closest to what I do are Shira Leon, who works slow and elegant, and Dina Klein for something retro. Everyone is in the gallery.